Whither Webcomics?

"It's my sincere belief that in ten years entire cottage industries will exist that do nothing but analyze the psychology behind horrible webcomics."
Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons, Something Awful, February 2, 2004

"Hey, why wait ten years?"
Mayerson, March 20, 2004

[Previous entry: "Testing the new directory"] [Main Index] [Next entry: "Problems with Problematic"]

05/17/2004 Entry: "Problems with Problematic II, #35-36"

35. In any Spawn vs. Art contest, Spawn always wins. Although we see nothing that even remotely resembles art in this webcomic, we do have it's simulacra in Nefertari failing to produce any. Which really sums this whole subject up quite nicely, however, let's see what LJ horrors we have for today's strip:

"Satanists have bake sales. Really. They're especially big around Christmas--let's face it, wouldn't you be more likely to be tempted away from the side of good by someone offering you fudge and homemade cookies, particularly around the time when your faith offers fruitcake?"
FHLJ, May 15, 2004

I have to wonder when Sandra decided it was better to explain her story rather than show it to us. I mean, here she is throwing away a perfectly good comic, if not a small story line, on Satanic bake sales. Is she in that much of a hurry to get to adult Fox fucking adult Collin? I wonder.

Sequential art is a huge subject, but it's still an art form. I believe that an artist ought to create work that engages the viewer's mind and eye, and not bark directions at him or her like a tour guide on how to respond to the work. I don't like this strip and I'm still trying to figure out why so many people do. The characters are louche and otiose, the storylines are noisome, and the drawing is pretentious and overwrought. However, I can't help seeing where the narrative, at least, could be somewhat better than it is.

Sandra has never had much in the way of drawing talent, but she did have enough of... of something to get "Boy Meets Boy" by on charm, if nothing else. This new strip has no charm, depth or passion, and without stellar drawing, which might or might not make up for mediocre content, it has no meaning either.

I don't know any Satanists where I live, I suppose they're around town, but keep quiet due to recovered memory, societal disapproval and the police. I'm not sure where Sandra is -- in Texas somewhere -- so maybe they have more and more open Santanists there. I'm sure I have no idea.

36. Could poor Fatima be any uglier? Is it really necessary to make her a hag so Fox and Collin can be pretty? Is this some kind of internalized misogyny or is this some weird attempt at equal time for unattractive girls? Or is it just another pointless bagatelle in this pointless strip? I vote for the latter.

"Fatima enjoys John Updike's novels. He's never been to my taste, personally."
FHLJ, May 17, 2004

Here is another pointless detail that if it was really important could have been a comic or small storyline of its own.

What is the point of the Friendly Hostile Live Journal? I realize that comic books used to have letter pages, but they would wait until they got a question before they explained something. I'm no more able to understand pre-emptive discourse than pre-emptive war; they both suck very much.

By the way, I've always felt that Updike knows a lot about women and dislikes in proportion to what he knows. Unfortunate, but there it is. However, I do agree with Harold Bloom that "Witches of Eastlake" is Updike's best novel. It's one of the very few things I agree with Professor Bloom on.

Oh, and FYI, this crit is going monthly. Yes, every 28 days; won't that be delightful?